Showing posts with label Jack Wallen. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jack Wallen. Show all posts

Friday, June 5, 2015

Summer of Zombie Blog Tour 2015: Jack Wallen


You're reading Books, Beer and BLOGshit! It's the only blog that that self-proclaims itself Lord Ruler of Chyme n' Stuff. I am your supreme emperor, Mr. Frank!

We like to bring out the big guns to end out a week of summer zombie fun and frolicking. We didn't have anyone who fit that bill so we figured we would showcase The Zombie King himself, Jack Wallen.

We're not entirely clear on the lineage of the current reining Zombie King. There is little to no history on the books about previous Zombie Kings or Queens. We even had trouble finding out when the Zombie Prince was elevated to King.

One thing is certain: The Zombie King rules with an iron fist and all his peasants are oppresed. He maims and kills all who would oppose him. Do not cross him.

We've procured an interview with one of Mr. Wallen's oppressed zombie servants. Read at your own risk. You. Have. Been. Warned.




The BLOGshit: How’d you become a zombie?

Wallen's Zombie: Strange you should ask that. It truly was one of those “I was just walking down the street minding my own business, when this moaner happened to stumble from a bar and wrap its rotting arms around my neck” moments. At first I assumed it was just a drunk looking for a score … until the bastard bit me. Fuck it burned. Right away I knew the ride of life was going to take a turn for the ugly. In the end, the prick got what he had coming. Before I turned, I crushed his head with a fire extinguisher, set him on fire, and pissed out the flames.


The BLOGshit: Would you rather be alive again?

Wallen's Zombie: Honestly? No. The world had already turned to shit before entropy took hold of my life. Politics, Religion … the human race was on a collision course with death. The way I see it, I got out before my generation had to deal with the millennials taking over and giving what was left of common sense an apathetic kick in the nuts.


The BLOGshit: What do the brains taste like anyway?

Wallen's Zombie: Taste? Are you fucking kidding me? I’m a zombie, the last thing on my mind is taste. Okay, that was rude of me. I may be undead, but I do have still have my manners intact. What do brains taste like? Imagine chicken left out in the sun for a couple of days – just long enough to get mushy – and then marinated in a sauce of pennies and salt. Yeah, that’s about right. But hey, dinning on mind-meat makes the noise go away.


The BLOGshit: Does everything stiffen up from the Rigor Mortis?

Wallen's Zombie: Everything but the ONE thing you might want stiff. Yeah...that’s a soggy ass mess down there.


The BLOGshit: If you could eat anyone, who would it be?

Wallen's Zombie: Natalie Dormer. Maybe then would the soggy mess finally stiffen up. Hoo boy, I’d eat the smirk right off her face. Nom!


The Zombie King: Jack Wallen


The Zombie King pulls no punches. It's rough being a zombie in Wallen World. as you can see. Thank your lucky stars you exist in this dimension and not in his demented mind. We've been assured it's relatively safe to peer into Wallen's World via the following links:






Here is a picture of a Zombie Queen For No Apparent Reason


Monday, March 9, 2015

Sin Shitty: An Interview With The Creators of Hollywood Hellmouth

You're reading Books, Beer and BLOGshit! It's the only blog that uses both sides of the toilet paper when it wipes! I am your crappy blog host, Mr. Frank.

The BLOGshit has been dormant for awhile. What better way to revive it once more than with a four-way interview? The BLOGshit is taking Armand Rosamilia, Jack Wallan, Brent Abell and Jay Wilburn to task. They've collaborated on a weird horror piece called HOLLYWOOD HELLMOUTH. 

The BLOGshit has gotten a sneak peek at the book and we think they have some explaining to do. We could tell you that HOLLYWOOD HELLMOUTH is a story of broken Hollywood dreams. We could tell you it's filled with a menagerie of grotesque and odd monstrosities. We might even spoil it a tad and tell you a Velvet Elvis figures into the whole shebang.

But instead, we figured we'd get the dimented creators to do it themselves. They are the responsible parties, let them get arrested for the insanity that is... HOLLYWOOD HELLMOUTH.

Shall we?



The BLOGshit: You are all notably zombie writers, what brought you all together for this project? 

Brent Abell: Greed, I mean the desire to work with Armand again. I've worked with him on 

a couple of projects and have had a really great time doing so. I've been in a few anthologies with 

Jay and we run around in the same twisted circles, but our paths had never crossed until the first 

Imaginarium con in Louisville last year. It was at the same con I met Jack for the first time and 

the four of us hung out and discussed doing the same thing at MidSouthCon and Imaginarium 

again this year. Then the conversation started about a project together... 

Jack Wallen: I blame the booze. Oh wait, I don’t drink. Okay, I blame the rest of the guys 

getting face-planting drunk, tying me down, and insisting I play along – else they’ll tell my wife 

bad, bad things. Actually, it seemed to be the logical thing. We were all planning out our 

domination of MidSouthCon when someone had the brilliant idea of round-robining a novella. 

There was no hemming or hawing – we all immediately agreed it was the thing to do.

Jay Wilburn: Armand is the lynchpin of our group. He is the center of our literary universe. 

He has the most gravity as measured by the laws of physics and spiritually. We were all at 

Imaginarium Con in Louisville and our collective work there as guests got us invited as guests to 

MidSouth Con in Memphis in March. We decided to put something special together for that 

appearance.

Armand Rosamilia: I felt really sorry the other three guys aren’t as rich and famous as me. 

I remembered being a nobody (but always sexy and good-looking, luckily) so I threw them a 

literal and literary bone and enriched their lives, such as they are. Plus, I love two out of three of 

them. 

 

The BLOGshit: Where did the idea for Hollywood Hellmouth come from? Is anyone willing to take 

responsibility? 

Jack: I said “I’ve always wanted to write a B-Horror kind of novel” and we took it from 

there. Of course, by B-Horror I didn’t think it would get so wonderfully odd. Am I glad it did? 

You betcha. There’s no way we could have written this piece as individuals.

Brent: It was supposed to be an ode to the B-movies we love, but honestly... I'm not sure 

what we did.  It began innocently enough as a book we could write and have it for the cons we 

were attending together in 2015. When the talks about sharing tables at the cons came up, I 

brought up our idea of doing a book together and the whole mess began. 

Armand: I will take full credit for the idea. Honestly, I wrote 99% of the book, too. Or 

maybe not. Who can say? I think jay Wilburn caqme up with the idea initially and we all took it 

up and ran with it. If this bombs I can distance myself from it but if it is gold I can say it was my 

Midas touch. Win/win for me. 

Jay: Armand first suggested we collaborate on something for MidSouth. Bad ideas tend to 

start with him. Brent remembered it just before the New Year and got the discussion going again. 

He usually keeps bad ideas going. We threw around a few story ideas, but it was Jack’s “B-

Movie Horror” starter that gave birth to what would be HOLLYWOOD HELLMOUTH. I was 

supposed to be the voice of reason, but failed miserably.

 

The BLOGshit: What was the inspiration for the Velvet Elvis character? 

Jay: I think Velvet Elvis first came up in one of my rounds. Back then, he was just a picture 

of the King with a little wiggle in his frame. Growing up in the South through the 70’s and 80’s, 

velvet Elvis portraits were a staple in white trash homes and every roadside vendor. There used 

to be a lot more roadside vendors before you could get Velvet Elvis’s online. That’s what’s 

wrong with America these days: not enough velvet or Elvis in our lives anymore.

Armand: I really have no idea. By the time I came in these clowns had already desecrated 

The King and forced me to keep it going. I am still disgusted how easily they can tear down our 

idols and the fabric of our society. 

Jack: Doesn’t every novel have a Velvet Elvis character? I thought it was required for all 

novels? Honestly, every bit of madness to enter this novel just happened – there was no 

inspiration. 

Brent: This is one I'm not taking credit for. When the next round was taking place and the 

manuscript came back to me, it was there and it just got worse from there for the Velvet 

Elvis. MidSouthCon (where the book is debuting) is in Memphis, so having Elvis in the book 

was a natural fit. His estate might disagree and we might not be allowed in Graceland, but it 

worked for us.

 

The BLOGshit: What was the collaborative process like for Hollywood Hellmouth? Where there any 

positives working with so many other writers? What type of obstacles did you have? 

Armand: I loved not discussing anything happening as we went along. You simply got the 

book back after the other three guys had written their chapters and had to keep the story 

going. And top what came before, which was the ultimate challenge. 

Jay: I think it was net positive for all of us. It moved fast and demanded creativity out of 

each of us. Looking back, I think it was guaranteed that what we created together was going to 

be something wild. As an individual in the group, you couldn’t hold too tightly to your own 

concept of what the story was nor where it was going. You had to be willing to take the other 

authors’ visions and move the action with what they gave. Each author had to be conscious of 

handing off the baton in mid run. I think it became something different than any one of us would 

have created and it allowed us to be different than our usual styles.

Brent: We didn't discuss the plot or anything before hand. The first person wrote their piece 

and we passed it around until Armand ended it with the epilogue. There were no plans for it and 

as we received the manuscript, we had no idea what the three people did to the story before we 

got it back. It was fun to see how each person brought something different and unique to the 

story. It's also pretty positive to finish a book and only had to write a quarter of it. The only 

obstacle was figuring out how to top the previous chapters when it was your turn again. I admit, I 

had trouble writing a story like this, I'd never done one in a horror/comedy kind of way, but once 

I felt more comfortable with it, it flowed easier.  

Jack: It was a pure joy. Part of the fun was writing a chapter in such a way just to see what 

the next man up would do with it. Turns out, when you unleash the imaginations of four twisted 

writers, all hell will in fact break loose. Honestly, there were no obstacles... there were only 

pulses. Four unique voices working on a single story and taking in places not one of us would 

have thought to imagine individually. How could there possibly be hurdles with that? 

 

The BLOGshit: Can any of you see yourselves collaborating on further projects? 

Brent: Oh yeah. Working with the other three was a blast and we've become pretty good 

friends. I can see this happening from time to time when we get bored or when Armand needs a 

hug. 

Jack: Well, we’ve planned this out as a trilogy, so we’ll definitely venture back into 

Solomon’s world at least two more times. Outside of that? Who knows. The other guys are really 

great to work with and I felt honored (and just a little dirty) working with them … so I certainly 

wouldn’t be averse to further collaborations.

Jay: Absolutely. Jack has already cooked up a cool zombie thing that is pulling in a number 

of other authors too. HOLLYWOOD HELLMOUTH itself is shaping up to be the first in a 

trilogy of books. We are already looking ahead at another joint convention appearance that 

should correspond chronologically with a release of the third book.

Armand: I’ll definitely work with the three of them again and hopefully not only on 

finishing this trilogy. It’s funny, because individually I hate all three with a passion, but the four 

of us together… magic. 

 

The BLOGshit: How likely are you to dabble in this kind of crazy horror again? 

Jack: I’ll do it again, for sure. I had a lot of fun with it. I’ve always wanted to push myself 

to see just how far I can twist and bend a story like this. The piece I’m doing now is sort of along 

the same lines … minus the poo (the book isn’t finished yet, so there’s still time).

Brent: My wife denies knowing me after reading the book, but I'll live and will dabble in 

the sub-genre again. It was fun to take a break from the normal stuff and cut loose with the other 

three guys on such a crazy book. I like crazy... 

Armand: Oh, definitely. It was even more fun than I thought it would be. I skirt the line 

often in my work but this was on the other side and I liked it. A lot. Maybe too much. 

Jay: It is almost guaranteed at this point. I got a lot from this personally. Having four people 

involved in the process of putting together and putting out a book has been great. This seems to 

be the direction the four of us working together leads. Horror and humor may be our collective 

voice.

 

The BLOGshit: Who amongst you is the craziest? 

Jay: It may have to be Armand by default. He’s settling down more now though. I mean, I 

haven’t killed and disposed of a body in months and Armand was around for that too. Jack 

and Brent lead pretty responsible lives. Armand still hangs out with midget porn stars and he 

lives in Florida. You know what that place is like.

Armand: Honestly, the only reason I did this project was because the three of them are more 

than likely to eventually end up in a bell tower with a high-powered rifle shooting at hookers, 

and I want them to think I was always in their corner. So they don’t shoot the hookers I will 

eventually kill and bury on me own. 

Jack: Good gravy, that’s like asking which of the cat family is the most adorable or which 

politician can you trust the least! I might have to say Armand, otherwise he’ll beat me up. 

Brent: All of us. Someone trying to get us to choose the craziest opens the door to all sorts 

of weird stuff better left unsaid and behind closed doors. 

 

The BLOGshit: Who amongst you is most likely to get scared and run away? 

Armand: Either Jack or Jay. They aren’t exactly manly dudes. Nothing personal. And Brent 

and I seem way too lazy to run. 

Jay: I want to say Brent, but for all our lack of exercise, we are all pretty much scared 

runners. I used to say I’d only run if someone was chasing me, but I wouldn’t even run then. 

That has more to do with laziness than courage though.

Brent: Jay, hands down. Or Jack. When you look at Armand and myself, it's obvious we 

don't run at all. 

Jack: Brent. He carries a blanket around and sucks his thumb. But Jay does have that “look” 

in his eyes, like any moment he’ll bolt. If I tossed a bag of M&Ms off a cliff, Armand would 

dash off.

The BLOGshit: How did you develop some of the off-the-wall creatures found in Hollywood 

Hellmouth? 

Brent: I think most of it stemmed from the desire to be as crazy and disgusting as 

possible. Stuff like that happens when you mix Hollywood, Hell, and demons. There were also 

times where we would discuss stuff on-line and some of the creatures ended up in the story (like 

Hollywood stars of various heights). The rest was everybody trying to top the others in the gross 

monster game. 

Jack: It’s all about height. And bringing things to life that wouldn’t normally be, like a 

toilet. Annnnd … we’re back to poo. This book really was all about the unexpected and what 

could the unexpected do and be to help push a plot forward. Nothing was off limits – not even 

The King himself. At some point, at least for me, it became about figuring out what people in 

real life would be funny at a particular height – or bringing old television crushes back to life in a 

deadly way.

Jay: These were byproducts of the collaboration. Solomon, the narrator, became flawed and 

unreliable pretty early, so that opened the world up a lot. The quirky insanity developed from one 

author introducing a character or scene and another author running with it into something more. 

Jack likes to kill and hurt things, so that created some interesting development with the story and 

characters.

Armand: Most of it was pretty natural. In a couple of my chapters I got to introduce what I 

thought would be a minor character, only to see them become an intricate part of the plot my 

next time around, while other characters I thought were going to be big got left behind. It was 

fun trying to keep up with everyone else and see what twisted things we could do. 

 

The BLOGshit: What are the chances we can expect a sequel? 

Jack: Like The Matrix, this will be a trilogy. Why a trilogy? Because things are funny in 

threes. The law of comedy.

Brent: It's Hollywood, so you'll either get a sequel or a reboot!

Armand: There is no chance we’ll see another word of this crap… unless it sells and we 

make a ton of cash. And then the trilogy will become eight to ten books and a line of action 

figures. 

Jay: Oh, we’re talking 99% sure. We are in double dose of Measles vaccine sure. We’re 

talking condom with a birth control pill combo numbers. I’m as sure as Armand dragging us to a 

White Castle is sure.



So, there they are. The four responsible parties for HOLLYWOOD HELLMOUTH. That interview is every indication of the type of humor that gets pumped into this twisted tale. This is not the next great American novel, nor is anyone expecting it to be. But, just like a lady of the night, you can be sure to  take this one home and have yourself a good time for a few hours. Reading HOLLYWOOD HELLMOUTH is a victimless crime.

HOLLYWOOD HELLMOUTH will be available everywhere on Friday. March 13th (get it?) and if you are attending MidSouth Con on March 20th, be sure to hunt down Jack, Jay, Armand and Brent and get them to sign your copy in person!  Just watch what type of ink they use. Eww!

Jack Wallen

Jay Wilburn

Brent Abell
Armand Rosamilia

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Winter of Zombie 2014: Jack Wallen

There is a chill in the air. The Winter of Zombie blog tour is blowing through Books, Beer and Blogshit! 

Zombies and winter often don't mix. Decaying ligaments and freezing temperatures typically slow an animate corpse down. But the authors of the Winter of Zombie blog tour are heating up. Join us here on the Blogshit as we feature the hottest names in zombie fiction in the dead cold of winter.

First up, Jack Wallen. Jack is no stranger to The Blogshit. He's appeared here on the Summer of Zombie blog tour and we are happy to have him back to face a whole new barrage of ridiculous questioning. Slap on you Uggs because here. We. Go!



The Blogshit:  Welcome to the Winter of Zombie Blog Tour stop at Books, Beer and Blogshit. Do you have new tales to tell in the dead of winter 2014?
Jack Wallen:  I do. Always. The winter makes me die inside, so what better time to tell tall tales of gloom and doom. My most recent apocalyptic novel is Cry Zombie Cry. It’s the eighth entry in my I Zombie series.
With the Guignol Gang fully armed and prepared to defend the castle, Bethany and company are off to see the Wizard of Odd. The long-awaited entry to the I Zombie series has arrived. And it’s ready to rock.
Bethany Nitshimi is back and ready to crush the Zero Day Collective with a wall of sound. Together with the metal band Unsun, Bethany will have the undead horde banging their heads until brain runs thick in the streets.
If it’s too loud, you’re too old…or dead.

The Blogshit:  Have your zombies had to face a freezing cold winter yet? If so, how do your particular breed of zombies react to cold, harsh winters?

Jack Wallen:  Not yet. But the next novel, Fry Zombie Fry, will. I plan on forcing Bethany Nitshimi and company into the thick of a cold and nasty winter – apocalypse style!
I have, typically, evolved the zombies in my story. In the upcoming iteration, there could be a minor evolution that would allow them to tolerate a heavy blanket of winter. There is also another possibility I am considering … one born from an icy grave.

The Blogshit:  Does/will Winter figure into your zombie world or do you figure what you will tackle will be unaffected biologically or geographically?
Jack Wallen:  I try, as hard as possible, to write everything with a nod to reality. With that said, the elements will play a part. So when the icy fingers of winter touch the living and the dead, you can be damn sure they will each be affected.

The Blogshit:  Do you yourself live in a part of the world that is affected by the cold of winter?
Jack Wallen:  Yes. Though it’s not nearly as bad as others, Louisville, Kentucky can have some nasty winters. Last year it was very long and very cold (thank you Polar Vortex). And if it’s not lung burning cold, it’s weak infrastructure that leads to week-long power outtages.

The Blogshit:  In the summertime we talk about zombie sandwiches. We think in the winter it’s time to talk about zombie ice cream. What crazy zombie inspired ice cream flavor can you come up with?
Jack Wallen:  Undead Neapolitan. The brown tastes like rotten flesh, the yellow tastes like sweaty, soiled tee shirt and the red tastes like fetid blood.




Nicely done Jack! 

Be sure to check out Jack Wallen. He has numberous titles to choose from. If zombies are your thing, there is sure to be one that will send a chill through your bones!








Thursday, June 26, 2014

Summer of Zombie Blog Tour 2014: Jack Wallen

You're reading Books, Beer and Blogshit! It's the only blog with writers who have a face for blogging. I am your cute-as-a-button blogger, Mr. Frank.

We aren't done yet. It's time for the p.m. edition of the Summer of Zombie Blog Tour double header week. And when you talk about two heads, you talk about Jack Wallen. Jack Wallen is a guy who writes things about zombies. When he's not busy writing things about zombies he does other things mostly unrelated to zombies, like pooping for instance. 

We on The Blogshit are sure his mother will be proud.  So mama Wallen, sit back and relax as your boy tackles the Books, Beer and Blogshit Summer of Zombie Blog Tour 2014 interview spectacular.



Books, Beer and Blogshit:  Are you a survivor or one of the undead?

Jack Wallen:  Oh I am a survivor. In fact, I finally left corporate America and am now  on my own...oh wait, you didn't mean that kind of Undead. You mean zombie-undead. Still, I'm a survivor – like Eye of the Tiger survivor.

The Blogshit:  What is your latest piece of zombie fiction we should be concerning ourselves with?

Jack Wallen:  The Last Casket was my latest release. It's a fun little romp through the apocalypse that stars the pyshchobilly band Kitty in a Casket. The band was awesome to work with. The gist of the book is:

When flesh-melting rock faces off against the undead horde, who will be left standing?


All hell breaks loose, when rock and the apocalypse collide. In this first spinoff of the popular I Zombie series, psychobilly band Kitty in a Casket kick the undead horde's ass with their special flavor of rock.



Follow Kitty and her band to a dive bar in the middle of the apocalyptic landscape and raise your fist as they prove themselves worthy destroyers of zombies, cannibalism, and the Mengele Virus.

The Blogshit:  Do you feel you are a classic or progressive type of zombie fiction writer?

Jack Wallen:  Progressive – mostly because I drop a LOT of pop culture references and use humor in my books. Plus, I have (at the moment) about five different types of zombies – each of which has their own special flavor of horror to bring to the table.

The Blogshit:  What makes your zombies different from all others?

Jack Wallen:  Their impeccable sense of fashion. No, that's not it. There are two things that make my zombies different: First, as the story progresses, the zombies evolve. Second, the Zero Day Collective (the politico-corporate “big bad” in the series) use the zombie horde in an attempt to cleanse the world (to start afresh, as it were).

The Blogshit:  What makes your living different from all the others?

Jack Wallen:  I work at a standing desk...that's a good place to start. I also work at home, as a full-time writer. I'm very lucky. I'm also one of those hermits capable of socializing...so I can go out in public (when I choose to) and be friendly.

I also bathe.
And brush my teeth.
And use product in my hair.

The Blogshit:  Do you think it's important, in this climate, to run with the pack or really try to reinvent the wheel in zombie fiction?

Jack Wallen:  I refuse to run with any pack. If I cannot create a world and a mythos of my own, what's the point?

The Blogshit:  Zombie fiction seems heavily dependent upon working withing the construct of a series. Do you feel that is the way that makes it work best for you you or do you think there is still room for stand alone stories?

Jack Wallen:  I think it's part and parcel to the genre. I tried to write a one-off. That's what I Zombie I (the first book in the I Zombie series) was going to be. As soon as I completed the book, I realized I had way too much story left to tell and had created a world I certainly wanted to explore and expand.

The Blogshit:  Are you ever afraid of being pigeon-holed in this zombie fiction genre?

Jack Wallen:  I write way too much to worry about that. But I will say that my zombie fiction outsells my other fiction, lights out.

But...even if I were pigeonholed, I'm not concerned. I have a LOT of story to tell in this genre (plus another series yet to come out).

The Blogshit:  For your next zombie story, stand alone or series, do you think you will need to go sicker or smarter to keep it going?

Jack Wallen:  Both. I always attempt to one-up myself. With each novel I make sure both the main characters and the monsters evolve. It's a sort of race to the top (or the bottom – depending upon how you look at it).

The Blogshit:  On last year's tour, we asked about what to put on your zombie sandwich. This year, we want to know: What special ingredients would you use to pickle the pickles on your zombie sandwich?

Jack Wallen:  Man, that's a tough on. For me, it'd be important to hide the taste of rot. I'd probably go with a chipotle mayo.



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On The Web: http://monkeypantz.net/ (This is a particularly sexy web site)

On Amazon:  http://www.amazon.com/Jack-Wallen/e/B004MZWR3W/